A day at Meredith's store changes my life forever
I walk into Meredith’s bookstore expecting another afternoon of cleaning, pricing and stocking instead I find Meredith and Tina sitting behind the counter. Neither notices me when I walk in. I have a moment to watch them. Meredith is older, her face more mature and her body more womanly. Tina is losing her baby fat, her face becoming that of a woman. She has matured in other ways, her clothes are nicer now, she has become adept with powders and paints and, simply put, she makes more effort to look like the princess everyone knows she is. She makes my heart beat faster by hardly trying.
Tina and Meredith laugh about something. Tina’s cute little laugh, her scrunched up little nose, and the way she puts her hand up to her face each time are so familiar to me. I can tell by her laugh that she is slightly uncomfortable but Meredith doesn’t see it. Tina is my secret, my deciphered code. I love her completely.
“Paula!” Tina shouts when she sees me.
“Oh good, you are finally here!” Meredith seems thrilled. I find this odd. I’ve had sex with Meredith and Nick only once after the incident at her house and it didn’t turn out well. I think it was mostly me. I was nervous and felt insecure. I didn’t respond well to Meredith and this made her leave. Nick and I finished but I think this only pissed Meredith off more.
“Hey guys!” I address both of them then turn to Tina, “What brings you to the shack of Satan?” I ask Tina.
Tina looks to Meredith as if asking her to explain and when Meredith doesn’t immediately respond Tina begins playing with something on the counter. Meredith is a modern woman, a woman in charge, the tension between us doesn’t bother her. She wants something and she is going to get it.
“Tina and I are going to run out for a bit, can you man the store?” Meredith asks.
“What?” I have a moment of panic. I think of “Gone with the Wind” and my brain screams, “But I don’t know nuttin’ bout birthin’ no babies!”
It’s just something that always pops into my head when I panic.
“Meredith… I don’t know how to run the register… and… if someone has questions I don’t know…”
“Paula,” Meredith pauses with a look of distaste, as if she is consoling an ignorant child, “You won’t need to run the register and you won’t be here long. Nick is coming over in a bit. I called him and asked him to run the store as soon as he can leave work.”
“Ok…well…what are you guys gonna do?” I hear the pathetic childlike whimper in my own voice. I see Meredith’s smile flatten slightly, her lips tighten, obviously annoyed with me. I can’t help it. I feel left out. I feel…I feel betrayed by Tina.
“Are you ready for the party tomorrow night?” Tina asks, always the positive and happy peacemaker.
“Sure, I guess.” Actually I haven’t done anything. What do you do for a party? Fuck if I know.
“Ok, great.” Meredith picks up her designer bag and keys. She puts her arm through Tina’s and they leave. Tina looks back over her shoulder for a minute. Her face seems to say, “Sorry, you know how it goes.”
Yeah Tina, I do.
I also know Meredith. I know what she will try to do with Tina.
Even after the luxury car pulls out and drives away, I can’t even believe it just happened! I stand there like a statue for at least twenty minutes just staring at the doorway.
“You have got to be kidding me!” My own voice breaks me out of the trance, makes me jump a little. I walk behind the counter refusing to do anything. I sit in Meredith’s chair and open a book. Fuck that bitch.

The store is dead for another hour. Nick still hasn’t shown up. I eye the clock. A couple of overweight women enter the store. They smile as they past me, shooting me uncomfortable glances. They are probably surprised to see only me behind the counter. Fumbling through books and new age trinkets they build up the courage to ask me something. Finally one of them turns and looks at me. She studies me as if she is trying to figure out if I belong here.
“Little girl?” She asks.
“Yes Ma’am?” I reply in my best adult voice. I’m far from being a little girl but I’ve always looked about ten years younger. It’s a curse. I’m used to people thinking I’m twelve.
“Do you know the woman who owns this place?”
No lady, I broke in, decided to sit behind the counter and act like I work here. Instead I say, “Yeah, Meredith is my boss.”
“Oh, I thought maybe you were her daughter.” She smiles in an obvious effort to bring humor to her mistake.
“Can I help you with something?” I ask, trying to seem in charge.
“Well…when will Meredith be back?” She asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Ok, well thank you young lady. You are doing a good job for such a little girl.”
All sorts of things pop into my head but I know that I need this job so I don’t say anything. I smile and watch as the two women waddle to the door. Just another couple of overweight new age women in muumuus and too much jewelry, women just like them come in just about every day. Maybe there is a secret society of them I don’t know about?
The chimes by the door ring. The two fat ladies huddle close together. They are jostled by a team of college kids walking through the door. I don’t know it yet but this is my life completely changing.
The first one through is wearing a leather jacket and a white t-shirt under it. His or her hair is cut short, spiked and dyed bright pink. Holding his or her hand is a slightly shorter girl, she looks amazing. Her black shirt is skin tight and printed with faded gray and blue designs that look maybe like a band logo. I can’t tell, maybe the shirt isn’t a shirt at all but a dancer’s tank top, it’s certainly hugging her skin. She’s wearing a studded belt that hangs across her hips with a fat silver buckle hanging at an angle just above her crotch. Her jeans are super tight with a blue bandana tied around her leg. She is wearing leather shoes with thick soles and fat heels. Two silver studs poke out below her sexy bottom lip. My stare doesn’t go unnoticed by her boyfriend/girlfriend, ahhh, I’m leaning toward girlfriend because I see breasts and permanently erect nipples under the leather jacket. All five of them are covered in tats of one nature or another. In fact the pink-spiked-hair punk girl has full sleeves. I’m mesmerized and they know it. They love it.
Then SHE walks in.
SHE is black, African-American a voice says in the back of my mind. Her face is striking. Her features are almost masculine yet soft around the chin and the more I look the more she looks sweet and feminine. She has that power. Her full lips are painted a deep red that shimmers in the light as she enters. Her very presence in the room commands the attention of the others, making her seem taller in every way. Her light brown and black hair twists in tiny curls and braids that fall behind her head in a huge ponytail. Her shoulders are bare, leaving plenty of skin to dream about. Her skin actually seems to change in the light as she moves. Her top is a mix between a corset and a shirt, and presses up her breasts into fleshy cleavage that tantalizes as she walks. She wears capris that seem more painted on that real and they hug her perfectly round slender hips. Those hips flow right into long sleek legs accented with the six inch heels. I’ve never seen a woman more amazing in my life. The most amazing thing about her is that she is looking directly at me. Her eyes never move from me and I don’t seem to be able to take my eyes from her. I’ve heard about Voodoo. I’ve read that some priests can give the evil eye. Maybe you have to be black to do it because I’m telling you when she looked into my eyes I felt power. I thought I would die.
She walks straight in my direction. I sit helpless behind the counter. My instincts scream flee but my body doesn’t move.
“Hi.” She says. Her voice is a bit smokey and yet delicately feminine and cuts through me. She walks around to the side of the counter and leans against it like she’s the owner instead of Meredith.
“H..Hi.” I squeak.
Those full red lips spread open into a smile. Her brown eyes flicker and her skin keeps changing color, becoming a light milk chocolate then a dark mocha. She smells of exotic places and she makes me think of pirates.
“Are you the new woman in charge around here?” She asks.
I laugh a little too enthusiastically, a nervous habit.
“No, Meredith left and I’m just holding down the fort until Nick shows.”
“Who is Nick?” She asks.
“Her husband.”
“Oh, so not a boyfriend?”
She moves in a little closer. Behind her the pink punk girl smirks.
“No…no, not at all.” I said.
“Wow, a little bit of venom in that response.” She said.
“No, I have a boyfriend.”
I was used to trying to prove I wasn’t a lesbian or bi or whatever I am. Kissing girls at parties is one thing, really loving women is an entirely different reality. Men don’t mind if you like women but tell them you ONLY want a woman and be prepared for a completely different reaction. I didn’t really have a boyfriend. He was just a guy that came over and fucked me after school but I guess that counts. Whatever the case I knew what I was, I was confused.
“Oh, ok.” She said.
“Where…umm…are you guys from around here?” I ask.
“Yes.” It was the dark haired beauty with the punk girl. She moved with a dancer’s grace over to the counter. “We just opened a tattoo place around the corner.”
“Wow! That’s awesome!”
“You like tattoos?” They ask.
“I don’t know. I guess so. I mean no one around here really has tattoos.”
“Well, when you turn eighteen you should come by and get one.”
“I…”
The black woman that smelled like a mix of Indian spice, coffee, and chocolate leans down close to me and places her hand on my shoulder whispering, “You don’t really have to be eighteen.”
“Don’t tell her that shit Dee! She’ll go tell her friends and then all these kids will be getting us shut down.”
“You wouldn’t do that would you?” She asks.
“No. You guys are the coolest people I think I’ve ever seen.”
This made the entire group erupt in laughter.
“And you are the prettiest girl I think I’ve ever seen.” Dee said. “What’s your name?”
“Paula.”
“I’m Desire but most people just call me Dee.”
“Ok Dee.”
“No, call me Desire. You aren’t most people yet… but we can work on changing that.” And Desire winks at me.
“Dee, she is way too young for you.”
My eyes must have been as big as golf balls. Sure I was confused, sure I was in love with Tina, a GIRL, but I had never really been open about it. In fact I had been taught that it was something to be ashamed of and to suppress. I believed that I was wrong and everyone else was normal. Now, oh God, now a beautiful woman was hitting on me! Me!
“Shut up Persia. I think Paula is a woman and she can make up her own mind.” Desire looks at me and I really did have to hold my legs to keep from trembling.
“I saw the way she was looking at Amber.” Persia says. Amber smiles and tilts her head slightly allowing a lock of blue hair to fall in with the rest of her shiny soft black hair. She was a woman used to having people look at her and obviously enjoyed it.
“Persia, come look at this shit.” One of the guys in the back said.
Persia rolled her eyes and walked to the guys in the back. I heard them talking in the background. Amber moved closer and in the right light her top was completely transparent. Her navel and nipples are pierced. She seems unconcerned by her semi-nudity or the fact that the rings through her nipples are clearly visible through the sheer dance top. In fact I think that was exactly what she was going for. She told Desire she was going to join Persia in the back and I could see her tongue was pierced as well. To me, she seemed like an exotic bird.
“Like that?” Desire asked and breaking my stare.
“What?”
“Her tits.”
“Wha..I wasn’t…”
“Its ok baby, she has amazing tits. I would look at them too if I didn’t see them every day. I don’t think she should have pierced her nipples though. You should have seen her cute little nipples before she shoved that metal through them. Mmmm…mmmm, it was like looking at two little white chocolate Hersey’s kisses.”
“So you guys are like…”
“Yep, Gay. One-hundred percent.”
“Wow.”
“Stand up.”
“Huh?”
“Stand up.”
Unsure why, I stood up. I expected that Desire was going to tell me something about my clothes. I knew I wasn’t dressed anywhere near as cool as them. In fact I was wearing the same clothes I had been wearing since the 10th grade. I became self-conscious about my body but only for a moment because Desire grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to her. Her lips locked onto mine and she wrapped her other arm around me and tipped me back. I felt like I was in a movie. Roles were unclear and I didn’t fight her when she pressed her tongue into my mouth. I felt the metal stud roll around between our tongues as she kissed me. Her hands moved up my shirt and she cupped my little breast. She pinched my nipple sending sharp sensations up my spine. Heat flooded down my body and centered right between my legs.
“Fuck Dee!”
Desire didn’t stop when she heard Persia’s voice. She moved her hand down to my ass and cupped my butt cheek. She ground her hips into me and I fully expected to feel a stiff cock but there was nothing, just the soft mound of a womanly flesh.
“What is she Dee, fourteen? Jesus Christ! Get us arrested why don’t ya?”
“Wow, maybe we should leave?” A guy’s voice came in.
“Maybe we should get them a room.” Another guy said.
Desire’s kiss faltered. Her tongue slipped out of my mouth. The last thing she did before the kiss broke completely was to slip her hand over my crotch and press her fingers into my pussy. I was beyond wet. I was beyond return. I would have done anything Desire wanted at that moment. Anything.
“I think you need to break up with your boyfriend.” Desire said.
I look over at the others and see them pretending to mind their own business. I look back at Desire and see she is absolutely serious.
“Ok.” I say.
“Want to give me a number?” Desire asks.
“I…our phone…our phone got shut off.”
I hated it the moment I said it. It sounded like an excuse and I could see by the look on Desire’s face that’s exactly how she took it.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. But I’m having a party tomorrow night. You guys should totally come! There will be lots of people there. Meredith is bringing some booze.”
“How quaint.” Persia said.
“Oh, you are about to have the best party your little teenie-bopper friends have ever had. What is your address? Write it down for me.”
I wrote my address down on a piece of paper and folded it handing it to Desire. Desire grabbed my hand and curled her fingers through mine like I was her girlfriend. I had never had this happen before. I had dreamed about it. I had written about it. I had masturbated about it. All my life I had felt this was what I wanted but now that it was happening I just wanted to jerk my hand away and go run and hide.
“Amber! Look at this little Voodoo bank! Isn’t it cool?”
“Oh you should get it. This would look great in our room.” Amber said.
They were like any other couple. They were cute and in love. I could have this. That could be me.
“Call him.” Desire said.
“Huh?”
“Your boyfriend, call him.” Desire picks up the phone and hands it to me.
Amber and Persia walk away. I feel the unpleasant air that has suddenly blown into our happy lesbian party. I feel the need to challenge Desire.
“I’ll do it later.”
“Why? Why not do it now?”
“Ok, don’t get angry.”
I pick up the phone and dial Ian’s number. The phone rang and Ian picked it up.
“Hey Ian.”
“Hey Paula.” He never sounds too excited about anything.
“Hey, uh, I need to talk to you about something.”
“Oh no, I think I know what’s coming.” Ian always expects the worst.
“Yeah, I think so. I think we need to break up.”
“Uhh, ok.” There’s a pause before he says, “Can I still come to the party?”
“Well…sure…but…see…I’m kinda like seeing someone else now.”
“Ok fine. I see.” Ian sounds disappointed. In fact he sounds completely broken. I feel horrible like I’m the worst scum of the universe until he says, “So can we still have sex?”
“Bye Ian.”
I hung up the phone and Desire looks pleased, thrilled in fact.
“Here, I want to buy this bank.” Persia says. Her face held none of the pleasant air of someone who should be welcoming a new girlfriend into the gang. In fact she seemed angry.
“Uhh, ok. Well I guess…”
“Is there a problem?”
“Well Meredith said that her husband Nick was going to be back soon. I don’t know how to run this fucking register.”
“Let me see.” Amber said.
Amber walked behind the register and punched a few buttons and then said, “How much is it?”
“Says like twenty bucks.” Persia said.
“Ok, five bucks it is.” Amber said and punched in the numbers and the register popped open.
“Don’t get the poor girl in trouble.”
“It’s ok, she’s about the quit this fucking lame ass job anyway. She just doesn’t know it yet.” Desire said.
I didn’t say a word as Amber rang up Persia and then closed the register. I bagged the bank for Persia and the crew walked out the door. Desire stayed behind and she pulled me close. She ran fingers through my hair and leaned in to kiss me again. Her hand went to my little breast and this time she placed my hand on her breast. I held my hand over the tight corset top, afraid to move.
“Don’t worry little doll, soon enough you’ll get to feel everything.”
She pushed her hand down the front of my jeans and forced her way through my panties to my pussy. Her fingers found my soaked and hot little slit and pressed inside. She moved her middle finger over and inside twice before finding my clit and pressing hard against it. I held onto her neck as she fingered me and opened my mouth. I come fast. It doesn’t take much to make me cum and I was very ready.
“Wow, you are about to cum ain’t you babydoll?”
“Yes.” I whisper.
“Damn, not yet babydoll. We need to save some for the party.”
“I’m not 14 or whatever, I just look young for my age.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Desire said. She ran a finger through my hair and then our eyes met again. I felt my heart race and my knees tremble. I didn’t want her to leave.
“You are mine now.”
As quickly as all this had happened, it ended. The chimes rang and Desire walked out the door. I stood alone again but with a different feeling. For the first time in my life I was someone’s girl and it made me feel wonderful! I jumped up and shouted and did a little dance back over to the counter.

***********

Nick’s car pulled in over an hour past time to close. I didn’t care. He rushed in and asked, “Is the till closed out?”
“I don’t know.”
“Ok, well we’ll get it tomorrow. Let’s go.”
“Why are we in such a hurry?” I asked.
“Thought you might like to hurry up and see your friend.” He said.
“Yeah, I guess. Actually I would kinda like to just go home.”
“What, and miss out on all the fun?”
“What fun?”
“You know Meredith.”
“Yeah?” I drew out the word looking into Nick’s face for what he was getting at.
“Meredith has your friend ready to play but she doesn’t feel comfortable with both of us there. We just thought that maybe you would like to, you know, join in?”
I can’t fucking believe it! They are actually bringing me over just so that they can get laid with Tina! My Tina!
“It’s going to be a great party tomorrow night huh?” Nick asked. He could obviously see that I wasn’t happy and I didn’t need more clues to tell he was implying something.
“Yeah, it’s going to be great.” I said more enthusiastically than I’m sure he expected.
“Yeah, it wouldn’t be the same without some booze huh?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I could see the look on Nick’s face. He was testing me. It was insane, threatening my party just so he could get me over to their house. Meredith and Nick were swingers and sex to them is a conquest. I’m not sure if sex had ever been about anything more. I had been with them while they cruised the internet trying to pick up the elusive and always hard to find “bi-curious” female. Looking in Nick’s eyes now I could see fear. I think they were afraid I wouldn’t come over or maybe that I would stop hanging around them. I was their ticket to girls. I shook my head and stomped over to Nick’s car and jerked open the door. He followed and climbed in next to me.
“You are upset?”
I rested my head in my hand so I didn’t have to look at him. This was the least erotic thing I could possibly think of. Being solicited for sex like it was something to be bartered or traded.
“No, it’s cool. I’ll come over and fuck you.”
“You don’t have…”
“I said it was cool. Let’s just head over before I change my mind.”
Somehow I felt a little like I was betraying my new girlfriend. I guess I felt a lot like I was betraying my new girlfriend. But what could I do? They held all the cards. I had a house that was about to go away and a mom that could be missing for all I know. I need them to be there. I needed someone to be there. I turned and looked at Nick. Nick’s smile told me that he wanted everything to be ok.
“So Tina is still there?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so, at least she was when I left.”
“You’ve been at your house?”
“Yeah, well Meredith thought you could handle the store.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.” Nick looked at me. It was one of those looks that said he wanted something. I waited for him to spit it out.
“You really are cute.”
“Thanks Nick.”
“Ok.” His hand found my thigh and he moved his hand up and down as he drove. We turned a corner and he had to take it off. As soon as he finished turning he put his hand back down but higher. I let him. I don’t know. Maybe I wanted this. I was definitely still turned on from Desire touching me. I closed my eyes and thought of Desire’s hand moving up my thigh. I imagined it was her hand moving between my legs. Her fingers pushing my thighs open and pressing against my pussy.
“Wow, you are already wet.”
I wished he wouldn’t talk. I didn’t want to remember this was Nick’s hand between my thighs. I didn’t want to think about his fingers unbuttoning my jeans and pushing down the front.
Fuck.
“You are prickly.”
“I need to shave.”
I couldn’t think of Desire with him talking. His fingers felt good just above my pussy. He pushed down into my pants harder and fingers touched the sensitive and warm skin covering my clit. I opened my eyes and placed a hand over on Nick’s massive bulge. He swerved a little but regained control. His fingers couldn’t quite get enough room to penetrate my tightly tucked little lips. His cock threatened to rip open his pants.
It doesn’t take much to get me going on a normal day and after Desire’s teasing this was really driving me insane. I wanted to cum. I just had to lift my hips a little and…ahhhh…his fingers sank down in the moist folds of my slick little cunt. Damn it. It felt wonderful!
I came and we pulled into the driveway at the same time. Just a little one, a few shivers and a little tremble but still enough to relax my muscles and take the edge off. Only thing is, I wasn’t moving my hand on his cock.
“We are here.” He said.
“Yeah. Let’s go in.”
I threw open the door and walked through the garage to get into the house. I walked through the kitchen and found Tina lying back on the couch with a finger in her mouth and her legs spread wide. Meredith knelt in front of the couch with her head buried in Tina’s pussy. Two dildo’s lay at Meredith’s feet. I couldn’t believe the sight. I couldn’t believe Tina was doing this. What had Meredith done to get her this worked up?
Nick walked past me and began to undress. He dropped his pants unceremoniously. “Paula!” Meredith slurred. I think she had been drinking.
“Oh Paula, you have to get caught up! Have a drink!” Tina said.
Nick dropped his underwear and pants in a graceless move of unbridled lust. His enormous cock flipped up and down a few times as he moved. Someone was certainly ready.
“Oh my GOD!” Tina said.
“I know, He is huge!” I said.
“You’ve fucked him Paula?” Tina asked.
I didn’t answer.
“Sure you don’t want to play?” Meredith asked.
“Paula?” Tina pleaded.
I don’t know what changed at that moment. I guess I just can’t think about Tina in the same way anymore. Something about her and Meredith just fit. Something about her was so completely unlike Desire or Persia or Amber. Tina and I would never be lovers. That’s what I had realized and I had to accept that. This was as good as it would ever get, just fucking and playing around and “good times”.
“He’s great Tina.” I said.
“Yeah? Looks painful to me.” She said.
“Oh no, Nick is amazing.”
“Oh, I want to see you both sucking his cock.” Meredith said and she sat up on the couch with the dildo in her hand ready for a show.
“Paula, you need to get naked.” Tina said. Tina moved over to me walking across the carpet on her knees. She bit her lip as she came over. Tina was fucking hot. Her breasts had grown, they moved in ways mine never would. Her ass stuck out while she pulled off my jeans. I moved a hand through her hair. She was so beautiful even drunk. Her cheeks a little red and her eyes a little unfocused but still beautiful. My underwear slipped off and Tina planted a kiss right above my pussy. We both giggled.
Nick surprised me by placing his hand on my shoulder and thrusting his enormous cock right between us, right into Tina’s face.
“Holy crap!” Tina said.
“Come on girls, please.” Meredith said. Meredith was already on the couch with one leg flung over the arm of the couch and a dildo buried deep inside her. Her gigantic boozongas pressed together between her arms. She could give any porn star a run for her money. Tina could too. In fact I would bet that Tina could put any porn star to shame, hard little nipples, firm round breasts, skinny but toned and with a full small round ass.
Tina wrapped her hand around Nick’s cock and opened her mouth wide.
“Ahhh.” She said and laughed. She was acting like his cock was a tongue depressor at the doctors. I thought it was mad funny! I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth as she gobbled down Nick’s full length. Oh no, she gagged!
“Oh my god, I don’t…” Tina coughed a few times, “I don’t see how anyone could do that.”
“You should see Meredith.” I said.
“Huh? Why?” Tina asked.
“She can deep throat him.”
“No way!”
Meredith slowly moved the dildo in and out of her pussy. Her mouth open and her pussy hugging and moving out with the dildo and then pressing in as she shoved it back down inside her.
“Meredith…come show Tina. You’ll love it Tina, she is amazing!”
Sure this was weird, maybe even a little evil. But if this is all I’ll have with Tina then this is all I’ll have. I’m not ever going pass up a chance to be with Tina. Ever. I love her and if she wants me as her girlfriend, I’ll give up Heaven and Earth to be with her, but I know it will never happen.
Meredith kissed Tina. Two beautiful women. Nick enjoyed it, I could see. Meredith brushed back a lock of hair and wrapped her lips around that thick cock and, GULP, it was gone!
“Holy shit!”
“Wait, get’s better.”
Meredith opened her mouth a little and fucked Nick’s cock with her throat. She twisted her head and every thick, throbbing bit of his massive member disappeared and reappeared from within her mouth.
“Oh GOD! I have to see his cock in you now!” Meredith said looking at Tina.
“I don’t know.” Tina said.
“It’s ok, we’ll help. Just sit up here.” I said.
Tina leaned back on the couch and her newly softer breasts spread out just slightly. I found this intensely erotic.
“He has to put something on.” Tina said.
“It’s cool, Nick is clean.” Meredith said.
“I don’t care. Nothing on and nothing in.” Tina said.
“It’s ok, I have some.” Nick opened a drawer and out of the back pulled a little case. He ripped open the little silver square and in a few short movements wrapped the full length of the condom down his cock but he wasn’t happy about it.
“Holy shit.” Tina said.
Meredith and I sat beside Tina and moved our hands up and down her body, across her breasts, down her stomach and back up again. Nick held his cock out and pushed the head against Tina’s little pussy. I moved my hand down to her little slit and eased open her thin pink lips. Nick’s cock pushed in a little but the condom was too dry. Meredith wet her fingers and rubbed them over Tina’s pussy. Now the head of Nick’s cock slipped easily inside her. Her moist little labia flipped in as his cock sank down.
Somehow watching his cock penetrate Tina leaves me feeling numb. I’m not sure what I feel. It’s like two worlds just came together and I didn’t really think they ever would. Maybe this is all there is? Maybe sex is always about this? Maybe I’m the fool? Tina gasps for air as Nick’s cock sinks deeper inside. I know how she feels. Been there, done that.
“I’m going to cum!” Nick said.
“That quick?” Meredith asked.
“Now! Oh…Oh god…no…gotta get this damn thing off.” Nick rips the condom off and Tina pulls her legs together tightly to keep him from fucking her. Nick turns and grabs my legs and flings them open. I hardly have time to prepare as I’m slung back against the couch and he enters me. Holy fuck! He is big! Every fucking inch of him sinks down inside me. It’s been a while since Nick fucked me.
“Jesus Christ Nick!”
“Sorr..sorry…CUMMING!” Nick shoots his load inside me. Meredith kisses Tina passionately while she fucks herself with her dildo and cums. I don’t even have a chance to recognize what just happened. I’m a bit sore and my pussy is dripping Nick’s cum.
“Thank you Paula.” Nick said.

The house is dark and empty when I come in. Nick and Meredith took Tina home and left me to walk back to my place. Like I said, I’m old porn.
I take my clothes off and look at myself in the bathroom mirror. My face looks older. I feel older. My pussy is still sore from Nick fucking me without so much as a kiss. I walk into the kitchen and lift a knife out of the drawer. I look at it for a minute. It’s got a few spots from the dishwasher but other than that it’s clean. Tears sting my eyes and I drop to the cold tile floor. Sitting back against the cabinet I press the blade to my wrist.
The saddest day in your life is when you realize the love you feel for someone will never be returned. It’s a horrible feeling to know that everything you put out will never come back. I’ve lived my entire life waiting for Tina to love me. It’ll never happen.
I press the blade harder into my skin but not enough to cut.
After all, love isn’t a boomerang. You can’t just throw it out and expect it to come back. Maybe love is hard work? You have to keep trying and keep putting it out there and don’t always expect something in return. So what if Tina will never love me the same way I love her. She does care about me. Nick and Meredith are just who they are. The world is just the way it is. My Mom is just the way she is. Nothing is worth dying over. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll live to have my party and maybe Desire will show. Maybe with enough work, love with come back and maybe that’s what this is all about. Put it out there and keep working and one day love will find me.
I drop the knife on the floor. I knew I couldn’t do it anyway. I never do.
Tonight is the end of trying to make Tina love me. It will never happen. A part of me is screaming that I just need to keep trying, but that’s insane. Tina and I are growing apart. She and I will move on with our lives and go down different paths. I always knew it would happen. She has money, I have none. She has looks, I don’t. She has friends, I have people that want to fuck me. She has a family…well…I have an empty house that is about to be foreclosed. The mail came this week. The phone is already gone. The power will go soon and no one’s paying the bills. I’m alone with no where to go and a mother that could be dead for all I know, and me not even graduated from high school yet.
“Oh well, tomorrow is my big party.” I said to myself.
Yep, and tonight is the end of my childhood. Time to leave the nest and why not go out with a bang?
Looking at myself in the mirror I don’t look like much. I’m skinny, boney even, my breasts are non-existent and shaved I look like a little boy. Sometimes I wish I had been born a boy. I could have perhaps met Tina and fallen in love like things were meant to be. Boys were like candy to Tina though. I would have been a number in a list. She loves boys but she loves to tease them more. I don’t even think she knew what she was doing when she started with each new boy. She always seemed “in love” until they forgot something she told them or spelled something wrong or wore a shirt she said she didn’t like. In the end, she always came back to me. No, better I just look like a boy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate as a boy, to stand in front of the mirror like I am now but with an erection. Instead I only have thick pussy lips that I can play with. As soon as my fingers squeeze the soft flesh of my clit I’m gone. It’s never taken much for me to get excited. Just thinking of having a cock and jerking it sends me into shivering orgasm.
Would Tina like me better if I had a cock?
Why am I thinking about Tina even now? Shouldn’t I be thinking about my new girlfriend, Desire? She is the one supposed to come to the party tonight. She is the one that thinks I’m amazing. But instead my fingers continue to explore my little slit while I tease my own nipples and think of the first time I saw Tina naked. She has always been my idea of perfection. Tanned skin, slender and muscular frame, tight little ass, and of course the most perfectly cute face ever created.
I remember the first time I found out that Tina loved sex. I always thought she was a sweet little innocent girl that wouldn’t even think of sex but that is what she wanted the world to think. Good girls don’t like sex after all. Good girls don’t think about sex…but they do. They think about sex just as much as the bad girls, they just learn to hide it. I remember Tina pulling out a small book with a woman on the cover. The woman was dressed in black leather and her large breasts hung over the front of her corset while she tightly gripped a whip in her hands and curled her lip at the camera. The tiny book was filled with badly written stories but each one captivated us. She told me she had bought this from a girl at school. I asked who but Tina wouldn’t tell me, not wanting to get the girl in trouble.
The first time I had sex with Tina was in her basement when her mother caught us but the first time we masturbated together was in Tina’s bedroom reading those stories. I must have memorized every single story in that book.
I skipped school to get ready for the party but all I’ve done is sit around the house naked and masturbate. I masturbated when I woke up naked because I was naked. I masturbated when I got up to brush my teeth because I saw myself in the mirror naked. I masturbated sitting on the couch because I was naked and anyone looking in could see me. I walked into the back yard naked and sat on the swing and hoped like hell a neighbor would see me and want to come fuck me. I have no idea why I’ve been so horny all day. I masturbated on the swing but it wasn’t comfortable so I came back inside masturbated in the bed and fell asleep. Now I’m standing here in front of the mirror and my juices are running down my thighs and my hands are sticky with them. Masturbating has kept me from going insane. I realize that I have no idea what time it is so I run into my room and look at the pink clock beside my bed. It’s 3:34pm! Tina should be home! I rush to the phone and call her.
Tina's little sister answered, "Yeah?"
"Hey lil' sis, Tina there?"
"Yeah, but she ain't gonna talk to the likes of you!"
"Come on, let me talk to her." I commanded.
"TINA! PHONE!"
I heard Tina ask who it was and her little sister tell her. I didn't hear Tina's reply but I heard Loren say, "Tina, take it! GOD! "
“Hi Paula.” She sounded flat, like someone ready to be on to other things.
“Hey, are you coming over?”
“Huh?”
“I was hoping you would help me out with the party.”
“Why weren’t you in school?”
“I was getting ready for the party.”
“Oh.”
Silence.
“Are you coming over?”
“Yeah, when does it start?”
“Whenever you want.”
“Yeah, ok. Well listen, I gotta go.”
“Oh…” What was wrong? Tina should be excited to come to the party. She should be dying to get here. She didn’t even sound like she was interested, like…like she had forgotten all about it.
“See ya.” Tina hung up.
I decided to get dressed. I stepped into the shower but my excitement was gone. I realized that I had been so horny all day because I had been thinking about Tina. Now I realized that Tina hadn’t been thinking about me. In fact, I didn’t even know if she would come to the party.
6:00pm Friday night. Nobody.
6:34pm Friday night. Nobody.
I paced the floor. I opened the front door and looked down the street. Just some kids playing. I went back inside and changed clothes again. Meredith hadn’t come home yet. I had no booze. I chewed a nail, looked out the window again, chewed the nail again. Went in my bedroom and changed bras.

7:10pm. Nobody.

7:20pm Meredith drives up. I ran out the door very excited trying to catch her before she went inside.

“How is the party going?” She asked when I ran up.
“No one is here yet.” I said, a little out of breath.
“Yeah, well it’s really early.” She smiled. She opened the back of her car and took out a brown paper bag and handed it to me. Inside was one bottle. One bottle! One bottle of booze for an entire party!
“Listen, you kids have fun.” Meredith said.
“You aren’t staying?”
“With a bunch of teenagers?”
This was odd. Meredith loved teenagers. In fact Meredith was completely into robbing the cradle. Why wouldn’t she stay? Calm down Paula. Just chill. Deep breaths.
“Come here.” Meredith hugged me and gave me a kiss on each cheek. She fancies herself so worldly. I retreated to my house with my one bottle of booze. I looked inside. Tequila. Who even drinks tequila? My party was going to suck ass!
A few minutes later and I sat in the house alone with a bottle of tequila. It’s only like 7:30 Paula, calm down. I fumbled with the top of the bottle. I opened it and smelled it, then recoiled from the smell. Was Meredith insane? Why would she think I wanted tequila?

8:30pm. Nobody.


I opened the bottle of tequila and turned on the television. No one was coming. The tequila burned as it went down my throat. I put my hands over my padded bra and pressed down then watched how my shirt hung over it. I needed a new shirt. I went in my room to change.
A knock! A knock at the door! I ran down the little hallway and turned toward the door nearly falling on my ass. One shot and I’m worthless. I opened the door to find the most beautiful girl in school looking back at me. Her name is Missy and I invited her on a whim. She is one of the most stuck-up and mean girls I know at school. She thinks she is the shit because she has this amazing body and she is fucking rich. I never thought she would show. She looks angry and when she peers inside she looks even more upset.
“Who’s house is this?” She asks.
“Hi Missy! Come in, come in.” I’m too loud. The alcohol is getting to me.
“Is this your place? Did you like, buy this place yourself?” She seems amazed anyone could live here.
“It’s my Mom’s, but don’t worry, she isn’t home. She won’t be back for at least another couple of days.” I lied. My mother had been gone for nearly a month and she wasn’t showing any sign of coming back. Ever.
Right behind her a few guys from school show up. Missy retreats to the corner. She looks like she doesn’t want to touch anything. Secretly I hope that the house will get destroyed. It’s about to go under anyway, why not take it down?
Ian shows a little later with some of his nerdy friends. They think they are cool. They will one day be managers and CEOs but for now they are guys who’ve never been laid.
“Ian.”
I’m drunk. I hear it in my voice. I’ve never been able to take alcohol. One shot and I’m a lush. Ian hugs me and his friends stare at me. I know what Ian has told them about me. They think something is going to happen. More kids pour in behind Ian and his friends. Suddenly the house is filling up!
Imagine a woman lost in the desert for days. Imagine her starving and burning on the hot sand. Imagine she crawls over a sunburned dune to find an oasis of water and food, her cracked and dry lips quiver as she tries to get to the water. She would cry if she had tears to cry with. This is how I felt with people around me. My oasis, my escape.
Somehow the party moves into the yard as the sun dips deeper into the sky. I move through people I don’t know, noticing a few neighbors mixed in with the people standing around. Everyone has beer. Where did beer come from?
I walk through the front door to find the living room nearly empty. Parties seem to do this, move from inside to outside.
“Paula, come over here.” Ian says.
“Why?”
“Just come here.”
“I want to go back outside.”
Ian and his friends are sitting around the couch. Why they wouldn’t just be out talking to everyone I don’t understand. It’s like they WANT to be alone.
“I need to tell you something.” Ian says. He pats his lap and so I sit down. He puts his arm around me.
“What did you want to tell me?”
“Huh? Oh, I just wanted to talk to you.”
“So…”
Ian is erect. I feel his cock stiff against my leg. He doesn’t want to talk, he wants to fuck. His friends are right here! I’m so confused. I look over and his friends are all watching me, not speaking. It’s really bizarre. It’s like they all expect me to do something. Ian moves his erection slightly and it slips free so that it can spring straight up.
“Come on.” I say.
“What?”
“Let’s go to my bedroom.” I tell Ian.
“Huh?”
“I’ll give you a blowjob.”
His friend’s eyes open wide. Hilarious. I can only imagine what Ian’s been telling them all this time. He looks at his friends and they look at me. There is something in their eyes. One of them actually licks his lips.
“I can’t…well you know…I came here with the guys and well…you know.”
“What?”
His friends desperately undress me with their eyes. I wish I hadn’t worn the padded bra. I wish I had kept on the orange shirt.
“Well the guys want to party, I can’t just take off to the bedroom and leave them.”
“Ok, bring ‘em.”
In the bedroom the guys stand around like they don’t know what to do with their hands. They look around my room but never at each other.
I knelt down and unzipped Ian’s fly. He grabs the back of my head and tries to push me down on his cock.
“Calm down.” I said.
I look up at him and he seems to be trying to shield his dick from the other guys. The other guys are staring at me, I’m porn to them. I wonder if they’ll pull out their dicks and start jerking off?
“So are we gonna do this?” Ian asked.
“Do what?”
“You know.”
I look around to all the guys. They have expectant looks. They want this to happen and two of them are certainly ready.
“Suck your cocks you mean?”
“Yes.” Another boy said.
“Whip ‘em out.” I said.
I took Ian’s cock in my mouth and sucked. Another boy whipped out his cock and I wrapped my hand around it. It only took a minute for the other two to follow in and drop their pants. Four cocks surrounded me. I lost myself in them. I moved from cock to cock without thinking about it.
Ian moaned. He was excited. I don’t even know how long I had been moving from one cock to the next. I don’t remember. A minute? Two? Ten? Ian moaned louder. He was ready to cum. I took his cock in my mouth and let him spray his salty spunk into my mouth. I swallowed every drop. Ian backed up. Done.
The smallest of the guys came next. His cum tasted odd. A little off, like bad milk. I longed for something to drink but before I could even think about it the other guy was cumming. He shot a spray of cum across my mouth and face. He shot another and I opened my mouth to catch it. It landed on my chin and shirt. The next jet of cum I caught in my mouth. I sucked down his cock and swallowed.
Ian and the others stood in the doorway, leaving my door open. One guy left. I sucked him and sucked him. He wouldn’t cum. I worked his balls with my hand and sucked his cock bobbing my head fast and slow and fast. My jaw began to hurt.
“Come on, cum.” I said.
"I need more than this to help me cum." He said.
"No! No way! I'm not going to fuck you!"
"No, you just have to show me your tits or something."
“You’ll be disappointed.” I said and removed my top, shouldn’t have worn the padded bra. I dropped the bra on the floor and looked up at him with my tiny breasts exposed. His eyes lingered on them and his cock grew.
“Can I touch them?”
“Yes.”
He felt my boob. His hands ran over it and he pinched my nipple.
"Oh yeah, I think I'm getting close." He said without looking at my face.
I sucked. I jerked him and sucked some more. He continued to pinch and twist my little nipple. Finally, he shot a huge load I couldn’t swallow. There was so much! What I couldn’t swallow dribbled down my chin and down on my jeans. I honestly thought he was done so I backed away and was totally surprised when he grabbed his dick and jerked it like he was going for a speed record! He shot another load bigger than the first! I was leaning back so it shot all down my front, on my stomach, my jeans, and the floor.
“Fuck.”
I held my hands out from me completely unable to believe the amount of cum I had just digested compared to the amount that now covered my stomach and jeans! I stood up covered in cum.
“GET OUT!” I yelled and pushed him out the door and slammed it. It was one thing to do what I did but it was totally uncool to cover me in cum when I have a party going on! I was really pissed.
My bathroom was dark. I wet a wash cloth and began trying to clean up. My jeans would have to go. I unzipped them and let them drop to the floor and stood in front of the mirror in only panties.
“Wow, you really are a slut.”
“Oh fuck!” I screamed and jumped back away from the voice in the room. It was Missy. I really thought I was alone in the bathroom but Missy sat on the edge of the bathtub and smiled.
“What are you doing in here?”
“Right now, watching you.” Missy said.
“What? You are like some kind of peeping Tom?” I was a little angry.
“Hardly, I was actually using the bathroom until you and your friends came in and you started sucking them all off. Not like I could just jump up and run away. I didn’t know there were two doors so I didn’t shut your bedroom door.”
“Why didn’t you just say something?”
“Because I’ve never seen anyone degrade themselves before, it was…interesting.”
“Fuck you.”
“No thanks.”
I tried to ignore her but she showed no sign of leaving, in fact she stood up and walked behind me. She was uncommonly beautiful and taller than me. Light brown skin, large round dark eyes, amazing large, full breasts and a spectacularly small frame. Missy was every guy’s wet dream but she was a bitch.
“What? Why don’t you leave, you going lesbo?” I was trying to be mean, trying to sound like other’s had been to me.
“Maybe.”
“Whatever.”
I had the distinct feeling she was fucking with me but I refused to allow her to get the best of me. She was right though. I had totally degraded myself. Why had I done it, to show off in front of Ian’s friends? Why did I care what they thought? Why did I want to impress Ian? Was I that desperate for friends? Yes, I guess I was.
“So you’ll do anything sexual won’t you?”
“No.”
“Really?” Missy said with her eyebrow raised. I found myself captivated by her smooth voice and cool reaction to the scene. She was together and she knew she had the upper hand. “I think you will. I think you aren’t a lesbo at all, I think you just love sex.” She moved in closer and I could feel the electricity between our bodies. She smelled wonderful, some expensive perfume. I was acutely aware of my nudity next to her completely clothed body. Voices permeated the silence. People were starting to return to the house from outside. Neither of us seemed to care.
“I think you should leave…” I turned around. My naked little body facing her. I looked up into her perfect dark eyes and butterflies danced inside my chest. I swallowed and said, “… or kiss me.”
To my surprise, Missy leaned forward a little. I thought for a moment she was going to kiss me but she said, “You just sucked four guy’s cocks, what makes you think I would want to kiss you.”
“Because you like sex as much as I do. Because you’ve been standing behind me watching me clean up wearing nothing but panties and because if you were really so disgusted with my degradation, you would have walked out a long time ago.”
“And if I kiss you?”
“If you do?”
“You want that…don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Slut.”
“Yes.”
“I bet you are turned on like hell right now huh?”
“Yes.”
Missy surprised me again by putting her fingers over my panties. She felt how wet I was. I was soaked. I was gushing. Missy rubbed up and down and moved in closer, her body touching mine. Her eyes darted down to my little tiny breasts and back to my face.
“You are wet.”
I didn’t reply. I opened my mouth but never took my eyes off her. Even close she was perfect. Not a flaw on her skin, not a single…oh God, I came. Couldn’t help it. Something about her being so close, nearly a perfect stranger, the situation had me so turned on I couldn’t help myself.
“Oh…g…god.” I moaned, trying to keep my voice down. Suddenly I didn’t want anyone to know we were in here.
“You came?”
“Yes.”
“Take off your panties.”
“Ok.”
I slipped my panties down my legs and stood in front of Missy naked. Missy looked over my body and then said, “You are cute.”
“Thanks.”
“You would do anything I want right now, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Anything?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
I didn’t respond. I wanted her to touch me again. I desperately wanted her to kiss me. I tried to lean in but she backed away. Missy stepped back and leaned against the open bathroom door.
“Come to my house tomorrow and we’ll pick this up again, I just hope you are true to what you say. I want you to do anything I ask.”
“Ok.”
Missy smiled, turned, and left me alone in the bathroom. Naked I stood there and realized I was panting. I was so out of breath that I nearly passed out when I turned back to the mirror. I looked at myself and didn’t recognize me. Who was that girl in the mirror? She seemed to be me but changed, she was like a doll that I just moved around and other people fucked.
I reached between my legs and sank my fingers into the soft folds of flesh there and masturbated again. I didn’t stop and hoped like hell someone would come down the hall. No one did. I was alone with tons of kids all around my house.
I came.


***********

Chapter 2


11:10pm. Tina still wasn’t here.

After a bit a van drove up, speakers blaring, bass thumping. All the kids ran over to the window to see who had the nerve to disrupt the relative peace and serenity of suburbia. I was pretty much shit-faced by this time. I’ve never been able to take alcohol and drinks seemed to pour in as the night went on. I wanted the alcohol because even though there were more people in my house than there had ever been, I felt even more alone than I had all day. The appearance of a strange van with more kids only made me feel like pushing everyone out of the house.
“Is that a band?” Some kid said.
“Looks like a band” Another remarked.
“Holy shit!” A kid said.
I made myself stand, albeit a little shaky, and made my over to the windows with the others. Through the darkness I could see older kids piling out of the car, college kids. Excited I ran out of the house.
The first person I recognize is Amber! Amber was decked out! She had on thigh-high leather boots with thick high heels, a shiny rubber body suit with the nipples cut out! She wore a cool leather jacket and a leather biker cap. Kids stepped out of her way as she led Persia in by a dog collar. Persia was also decked out in thick soled, laced-up dance boots, black very tight shorts and a see-through mesh shirt.
I couldn’t believe they were here. Amber walked straight for me. She stopped and put her fingers under my chin and kissed me in front of everyone! She smelled wonderful, her tongue felt wonderful, she eagerly explored my mouth. It was heaven. Every son-of-a-bitch around me finally got a dose of what I had been eager for all evening. Amber broke our kiss and I nearly fell forward.
Amber and I looked at each other. Persia didn’t look up. Amber leaned forward slightly and said, “You can thank us later.”
She walked past the other kids. Most of them made way for her and Persia and the other punks that followed behind. It was a sea of multi-color hair, leather, latex and metal piercings and tattoos. I nearly cried. They were so beautiful. It was the best day of my life!
Desire stepped out of the shadows and I froze. A black skinned goddess dressed completely in white. If there were really angels on earth then Desire was one of them. I’ve never seen a more perfect body clearly defined by a more perfect outfit. I know my jaw dropped open and I felt my knees shaking. It was only when she got closer than I could see the skin tight white shimmering outfit was somewhat see-through and her dark nipples were clear through the latex.
"Hello little Witch." Desire said. She stood close to me. If Missy had sent out electricity when she stood close, Desire burned.
"I'm not a Witch."
"You aren't? Well how disappointing." She said smiling.
Desire put her arm around me and walked with me into the room. Eyes followed us. A sea of faces of kids I either barely knew or had known for years suddenly didn’t know how to react. Desire gave my hand a gentle pull and I turned to face her. She kissed me in front of everyone. Amber’s kiss was nice but Desire’s was passionate, hungry, and eager. She grabbed handfuls of my ass and pulled me into her. I thought I was in heaven until a guy pushed past us and said, “Move!”
Desire and I broke our kiss and stepped aside to make room for guys bringing in speakers and a stereo nicer than anything I had.
“I didn’t know if you had a system and the guys are into making sure parties rock.”
“Wow.” It was all I could think to say. What else could you say? In only minutes my living room was transformed. Music blasted so loud you couldn’t hear yourself think. The neighbors were going to hate it. Someone would probably call the cops.
I loved it.
The music thumped and my party had gone from somber to amazing in only minutes. Now girls I knew were younger than me were flirting and kissing guys far older. Jocks and freaks alike were having a great time. The house had finally come to life. It was a real party. Everyone would talk about this party for years to come. I felt like crying if I hadn’t been dancing so hard.
I didn’t recognize the music. I had only been exposed to whatever pop played on the radio. The sounds from this music were electric. I felt it rock my bones, my flesh, my soul. I danced with everyone and anyone. I felt liberated and alive. I couldn’t believe that only a night before I had considered suicide. Now I was thrilled. I wished I could run out to every kid who ever wanted to kill themselves and say, “HEY! Just go crazy instead! It’s more fun and what do you have to loose?”
I bumped into a body and turned to find Persia was topless. I don’t know when or how her top came off but it had. Her tight breasts barely moved. She had the attention of every boy and most girls around her. I think this is what Persia wanted. Persia’s nudity took a step further when Amber returned and danced with her. The two were pornographic. Amber licked Persia’s nipples and dug fingers into her ass. Persia rocked with Amber’s body and allowed her to molest her in ways that where obviously practiced between the two. Their porno dance moved more graphic when Amber removed Persia’s bottoms. Persia helped her take them off and stood naked before everyone.
“I want to fuck you.” Desire said behind me.
“What?”
“I want to fuck you.” Desire repeated.
I couldn’t believe what she was saying. Kids from school were still here. People that I knew were still watching. Hands reached around me and fumbled with my jeans. I slapped them away before I realized they were Persia’s.
“I thought you didn’t like me.” I said to her.
“I don’t.” Persia said.
I looked at her like she was an alien. How could someone who obviously didn’t like me want to undress me? Amber came closer and Desire moved in behind me.
“What Persia likes and doesn’t like isn’t important. She does what she is told.”
“Why?”
“Because we own her.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Like a slave?”
“Like a plaything.”
“I’ll own you before tonight is done.” Desire said.
Persia unbuttoned my jeans. She slowly slipped her hands inside my jeans. I was all too aware of the eyes in the room. My panties were exposed and Persia’s fingers were slipping down my jeans. I should stop her but I didn’t want to. I wanted to this in the worst possible way. When my jeans slipped over my thighs, Persia jerked them down and had me step out of them. I watched my jeans fly up and over Persia’s head and into the crowd of people. Guys around us cheered. I noticed a girl across the room had her top off. Amazing that others were starting to follow what we were doing. Guys dancing around in excitement but I didn’t have time to worry about the orgies of others because hands were on my body and cupping my little blue panties.
I felt a warm hand on my little swollen pussy. I rolled my eyes back and opened my legs for her. Fingers explored my pussy and teased my slit through the panties. A finger slipped under the side of my panties.
"Oh my God! Amber, she's shaved!" Persia exclaimed and pulled the front of my panties down. The entire room could see me. I didn’t care.
Persia held my undies down so everyone who wanted to see could. She spread my pussy lips open a little. Desire leaned over and kissed me again. I felt something wet run down between my legs. Persia poured her beer down my stomach, soaking my panties.
Desire pulled me to her.
"Just relax little girl, we are gonna have so much fun."
Persia knelt in front of me and lapped up the beer from my bare skin starting with my thighs. Amber smiled but only watched and held the leash. Persia’s tongue felt wonderful moving up my thighs and getting closer to my beer soaked panties. I fell back into Desire's arms, letting her hold me. I smelled beer and felt Persia’s tongue inching closer and closer to my panties. Excitement grew and the beer wasn’t the only thing soaking my panties at this point. Around the room others were either dancing, making out or who knew what. The music continued to thump and I felt complete ecstasy. Persia’s tongue finally danced over my little blue panties and she slowly pressed it into my slit. The pressure sent shivers of pleasure up my spine. I moaned softly and was thankful that Desire was holding me up.
"Ok, ready?" Amber said.
Desire lifted me up and cupped my breasts as she kissed my neck and motioned for me to follow Amber. Amber pulled on Persia’s leash. Persia crawled away from me and followed Amber like a dog. I was completely shocked. I had never seen anyone do something like this outside of a kid playing. I thought that everyone was staring at me as I tried to walk but then I felt a gentle tug on my arm and I stopped. I turned to face Desire. A guy slipped up to me and began caressing my breasts. I looked at Desire afraid she would be angry but she only smiled and began removing her top. She began a dance, slow and seductive. The guy behind me was hard and pushed his throbbing cock into my ass cheeks. He slowly pumped his cock up and down between my cheeks while he caressed and fondled my nipples.
Desire removed her top but kept her hands over her breasts. The soft light brown flesh of her breasts pressed up with both hands. She was stripping! Desire was a stripper! Somehow this made me only want to be with her more. She was amazing as she danced and strutted her stuff in front of everyone. The guys yelled and cheered and then right when the music peaked Desire dropped her hands away and exposed her large brown breasts. Chocolate nipples rolled around as her breasts careened one way and then another. The guy behind me was trying to remove his pants so he could fuck me. I didn’t know if this was what Desire wanted or not but if she didn’t do something soon he would be inside me. I wasn’t going to stop him. I was so ready. So ready.
Desire couldn’t remove her bottoms with those huge boots on. She danced over, grabbed my hand and blew a kiss at the boy behind me. We left him literally hanging, or should I say bouncing and made our way through the crowd of people to the bedroom.
We walked into my bedroom and found Persia kneeling in the middle of the floor while Amber rummaged through a bag on the floor. It wasn’t my bag. Something she must have brought with her.
Desire pulled off her boots and then carefully and expertly shimmed her way out of the skin tight pants. When Desire stood I saw she was almost completely shaved. Her thick lips hung down and formed a puckered kiss. Her stomach was so tight you could bounce quarters off it and each large light brown breast hung slightly to each side. She moved over to me and pressed her body into mine. She grabbed me and shoved me so I fell onto my bed.
“Just stay there and don’t move.” Desire said.
Amber hooked together metal poles and then brought them over. Amber grabbed my feet and pulled me to the end of the bed. I was surprised by her strength as well as the force she used! I reached out for the bed but could hardly find anything to hold onto. At the foot of the bed Amber put a pole between my ankles and in seconds she had me bound and spread. My ass raised in the air I felt completely exposed. My little blue soaked panties captured the cool night air and left me feverish for someone to touch me.
I felt fingers at my slit, pushing against my little soaked panties. I pushed back into those fingers, rolling my hips and wanting more. I wanted those fingers inside me. I was shocked to see Persia walking up with a paddle, the kind you now only see in movies. A big flat paddle with holes drilled into it!
"Hey! What the hell? Amber?"
Amber came closer and said, "Do you want us to stop?"
"I...”
"If you want us to stop, just say so. We'll stop."
"I...I...I want you to stay with me." I said pouting. Amber smiled and held my little face in her hands and Desire said, "Have you been a bad little girl?"
I didn't say anything, not being used to this kinda thing. Amber looked back at me and said, "You better answer her."
"What?"
Whack! Whack!
The paddle slapped down on my little ass and stung like hell! The sting went deeper than my flesh. It rocked me. I felt it down in my soul. I tried to turn, to protest or beg for more but the paddle came down again.
WHACK!
"Oh God! That really hurts!" I said quietly.
"Tell us what kind of little slut you are, you little baby!"
"Ok Desire, I think she is starting to get freaked..."
"I'm a bad little girl, I'm just a little slut!" I yelled. Amber seemed surprised by my outburst. I was too. I don't think I would have said it but I wanted her to hit me again, punish me for sucking those guys off, for Tina, for being the reason so many people seemed to hate me.
"That's right, you are a little slut! A cheap little tart!" Desire yelled at me, her voice strict and harsh. Then down came the paddle! I heard it slap my ass and the sound hit me before the pain did. The pain was complete, all encompassing, sending a wave of stinging cleansing pain through my whole body.
"Ok, Desire, that's enough." Amber said.
I barely was able to keep my eyes open, I was actually starting to really forget where I was, what was happening. I looked into Amber's cool big eyes, her face concerned and yet loving. Amber pushed the hair out of my eyes and kissed me. I surrendered.
"I want more." I said in a whisper.
I thought maybe they were about to stop. Amber was walking away from me. I wanted to yell for them not to stop, to keep punishing me. I wasn't free of myself yet, I wanted to be spanked. I needed to be spanked!
Amber came back with a big black strap-on tied around her hips and waist. She stood in front of me and thrust her hips out, "Suck me, cunt." she said.
I leaned forward, stretching my neck out to take the black rubber cock into my mouth.
"Amber, I...I think I..." I was confused, trying to make sense of what was happening to me. But the game was too far gone. Amber grabbed the back of my head and yanked my hair up, whipping my head back.
"I said suck it! Little slut!"
I closed my eyes and sucked her cock. I took as much of it in my mouth as I could. It didn't have a taste until I started to taste beer. I looked up to see Persia pouring beer over the rubber cock. I guess she had a beer fetish or something. Amber pulled away, leaving my little mouth open and searching for cock. Suddenly the pleasure of sucking her cock was replaced by the harsh sting of Desire's paddle. She smacked me so hard the whole bed shook! I screamed out in pain. I felt tears and sweat running down my face. Hands were on my chin and forcing my mouth open, shoving a cock back inside. I sucked on it, taking it down as far as I could. Spit ran down around the sides of my mouth. I gasped for air as the cock rammed in and out of my tiny little mouth. She pulled away, letting my head just drop. The ropes cut off the circulation to my hands. I couldn't speak, I couldn't cry out for help. The paddle came down again, but I barely felt it, the only thing I was aware of was the vibrations of the room and the shaking of the table I was tied to.
"Stick your tongue out girl, suck her!" Persia yelled at me. I didn't know what she was talking about, I didn't even really know where I was any more. I looked back at Desire and she stood tall behind me. Her hands moving up and down a huge black cock! I tried to turn and beg them not to let her put that in me but couldn’t. Amber shoved my face into her pussy. She smeared it around my face and yelled for me to lick her.
“Lick me you fucking slut!”
Whack, whack, went the paddle, jolting me forward and into the shaven pussy in front of me. It was wet, warm and smelled strong. I let her rub it around my face and wondered why it was so strange. I saw that it was Amber's pussy and it looked strange because she still had the strap-on tied to her. Suddenly it was the rubber cock that was being pressed into my lips and I opened my mouth, letting it slid in easily. I was dripping with sweat. I felt it dripping from my nose, my chin, and my breasts. I was barely even shocked when the rubber cock hit the back of my throat and Amber fully fucked my little mouth. I know it was all the way down my throat because I could feel the base of the strap on hitting my chin. My jaw hurt but Amber didn’t stop. I felt something press into my crotch. I couldn't look back but whatever it was big. My panties were still on and it felt like someone was trying to push right through them! Finally Amber pulled the cock out of my mouth and I gasped for air, taking in big deep merciful breaths of smoky air. I looked back as best I could and I saw that Desire had the other end of the paddle and was pressing it against me.
I looked at Amber and said, "I need to be fucked!"
She looked back at me with an evil grin said, "No, you need to be whipped!"
Amber moved away from me, leaving me tied helplessly and exhausted. My whole body seemed to have transferred to somewhere else. I couldn't even move, just lay there completely helpless. I felt hands rubbing my sore little ass, caressing it and sliding under my panties. The hands felt so good, so loving as they caressed my tender red cheeks. Desire leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You are so wonderful!"
The whip came down on my ass and I jolted upright, more reflex than anything. Again the whip slapped hard across my tender little ass. After a few lashings I hugged the table. It was like everything I had done wrong went away with each stroke. The leather straps stung my ass, my thighs, and my legs. I felt each sting and finally I couldn't take any more. But instead of asking her to stop, I turned and yelled...which came out more as a whisper, "Oh god! Please fuck me!"
I felt the panties sliding off my little butt. I lay there with my tiny ass lifted in the air and my head down in the pillow. The nice soft pillow felt so good, so wonderful!
Amber came back from locking my door and as she walked back, straight toward me, I marveled at her beautiful breasts. She had the most beautiful milky white breasts with small pink nipples and of course a ring hanging from each. I noticed that she wasn't completely shaven. She had a thin V-shaped patch of hair. Persia walked over and put her arms around Amber. Persia did surprise me. I could see several rings hanging from her pussy lips.
"Doesn't she look sweet?" Amber said to Persia. "She looks just like a little girl, sweet and innocent and so cute."
"You want her bad, don't you Mistress?" Persia said.
"Yes..." she said smiling. "Yes, I do."
Amber rubbed her hand up my thigh and across my pussy. I thrust my ass higher. I was well past caring what happened, as long as they fucked me. Her fingers continued to spread me open. I felt her pressing and pulling at my pussy lips.
"Look Desire, a little teenage flower, probably the sweetest little thing you've ever had."
"Yes, she is sweet isn't she?"
Desire’s thick rubber cock poked my leg. Amber moved down and took it in her hands. She sucked it all the way down. It was both shocking and intensely erotic to see Amber on her knees with a cock in her mouth, even if it was a rubber one. Shocking because I admired Amber. She had a face that said she was too intelligent, too sophisticated to suck cock. But that was what made it so hot. It made me so fucking wet I could barely take it!
Amber took the cock out of her mouth and moved it to my pussy. Desire slowly slipped the cock into me. It was so large I had to hold onto the pillows as they pushed it into my pussy. I screamed into them. It was huge! She wrapped her arms around me and cupped my tiny little breasts. Desire whispered into my ear, “You belong to me.” and she rammed her rubber cock into me. I held onto the pillows. The pain was intense and the rubber cock had no mercy. If I hadn't known better I would have sworn that Desire could feel something. She rammed into me hard, pushing me up against the head board with each thrust. I cried out! Suddenly she thrust down deep and with little jolts she thrust just like she was cumming inside me. Her grunts were fierce and hard. I gasped for air.
Desire licked her lips and closed her eyes. She stopped fucking me. Amber knelt behind me. I looked back just fast enough to see her rubber cock before she pushed it into me. I gasped again but this time it felt wonderful. Amber was much softer than Desire, much more loving. She caressed my sore ass as she fucked me.
Amber bent over me, her strong face down beside mine. My legs were pushed down to the bed and spread wide. Amber's cock deep inside me. She didn't move and I heard Amber say, "Oh my god!" and her beautiful mouth opened wide! Desire had her cock in Amber's ass, fucking her slowly. With each thrust to Amber's ass, Amber's cock moved deeper inside me. I looked under my arms to see Persia lying on the floor with her fingers buried inside her. Desire pulled out of Amber’s ass and Amber pulled out of my pussy. She unhooked her cock and threw it to the floor. Suddenly Amber leapt on top of Persia and the two wrestled on the floor, kissing and fingering each other.
"How are you doing little girl?"
My voice was soft and dry, "Ok."
“Are you ready to cum?”
"Yes Mistress."
"Then come around to the other side of the bed."
I looked at Desire and she kissed my lips softly and sweetly. I was a little surprised. She had been so hard, so mean, now she was being so sweet.
"Come here sweetie and lay on top of me."
I didn't know what she meant at first but then she guided me and I lay on top of her facing up. She spread her legs and sort of wrapped them around mine, pulling mine apart. She ran her hands across my nipples and down my stomach. Her fingers found my swollen and aching pussy. She fingered me, she played with my clit, and she had me ready to cum.
"Not yet." Desire whispered in my ear.
Desire sank down between my legs and with her tongue she made me cum. The orgasm shook every muscle in my entire body. I felt like I would pass out. Every pore felt drained.
“Oh my God.”
Desire and I fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next day I called Tina.
“Why didn’t you come to my party?”
“I did.”
“You did?”
“Yes.”
She sounded angry.
“Why didn’t you say something? Where were you?”
“You were…busy.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, Oh.”
“You know I love you.” I said.
“You are fucking pathetic.”
Tina hung up. I wouldn’t speak to her again for several years.

Epilog:

Soon after the party I moved in with Desire. She found me a job dancing which I did for several years after. It paid the bills and kept me out of trouble…well not really. I met others and have many more stories, but those are for another time.
The old house went on the market a few years later and I found myself drawn back to it over and over. Slowly the neighborhood I grew up in became overrun with development and now there is nothing left. It’s like that living in the south; you find more and more that the world you knew is gone, developed and filled with strip malls.
My mother was hit by a car about six years later. They called me to come pick her up. Her drug addict, drunken boyfriend was nowhere to be found. I put her in a rest home with what money I had but she didn’t last long. She died in her sleep a few months later. The only thing she said to me was that she was angry that I hadn’t gotten married. I think she was trying to make a joke. It wasn’t funny.
I heard from Tina a few years later. She found my cell phone number from a friend of a friend. She called me and wanted to get together. We made plans to meet but she made excuses and never showed to any of our planned rendezvous. Despite never showing in person, we connected over the internet. She was amazed that I remembered our little erotic encounters. She claimed to have forgotten them. She had a daughter and a son from two different men and was divorced. The only thing that hadn’t changed about her was that she was still after a man, but this time he was married. They were hooking up while he was on business trips and fucking every chance they had. For some reason she expected me to understand this, even approve of it. I didn’t. Maybe it was because I was jealous or maybe it was because I was just sad for her. Whatever the reason I didn’t approve but kept my mouth shut, for a while.
One afternoon I signed onto chat and Tina was online. Her married man was over at her house and they were having fun. His family was at the beach and he had told them he needed to go back into work so he left them alone for the weekend. Something about the situation sickened me. They invited me to watch their cam. I turned it on and saw my Tina after several years. She was still beautiful but tired. Her eyes said she was tired, her face said she was tired and most of all, she had lost the luster of youth. I turned on my cam for them and they were thrilled. They both remarked how young and “hot” I looked. It was obvious they wanted something to happen. It didn’t take long for him to remove Tina’s top and expose tired breasts. Tina was still thin but the muscles of cheering were long gone. Her breasts were still beautiful to me. She was still beautiful to me. I could only think what she would look like if she had stayed with me.
I took off my top for them and they both remarked about my breasts. How perky and cute they were. How much they enjoyed seeing them. He sucked on Tina’s nipples and she laughed and flirted with him. Then I did what I always do…I fucked things up. I asked how his wife was doing.
Silence.
We entered into a moral debate which I was bound to loose and within minutes the cam went black. The chat requests went unanswered. I never heard from Tina again.
I miss my youth despite its horrors. I find that it’s the time between the ages of twelve to fourteen that define our personality for the rest of our lives. The years after sixteen start to fly by faster and faster until you find yourself pregnant and ready to bring your own kids into the world. One day you wake up and find out that your life is defined by the moments you’ve spent with other people. I’ve had many lovers over the years both male and female. All of them have touched my life and we’ve shared moments that will forever define who I am, yet none of these people will ever be as brightly burned into my memory as Tina. She is forever my first love. She is forever the one who made me both complete and completely lonely.
To her I dedicate this story and hope you’ve enjoyed reading it. Thank you for those who followed me along on this ride.

THE END


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